A Muslim’s Guide to Self Love: Becoming Your Best Self

Welcome to the last part of the self-love series. So far, we have covered the importance of recognising your value as a Muslim and protecting your peace to nurture greater self-love.

This week, we explore growth, focusing on how learning, healing and evolving as a person are the greatest forms of self-love.

Growth is one of the deepest expressions of self-love because it reflects a commitment to becoming the best version of yourself. By nurturing your spiritual, emotional, and intellectual development, you're honouring the potential Allah has placed within you. Real self-love means acknowledging that potential and choosing, every day, to grow into it with intention and faith.

Allah says in the Quran:

"Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves" [13:11].

This verse beautifully reminds us that in order to experience growth and positive change, we must first initiate it within ourselves. Self-love, in this sense, isn’t just about accepting who we are, but about realising that we have the power and responsibility to improve and evolve.

The Journey of Purification

In Islam, growth is a continuous journey of refining our inner selves, beginning with the heart.

The foundation of growth lies in an Islamic concept called tazkiyah, the purification of the heart or soul. This journey involves aligning our intentions, actions and thoughts with Allah’s will, shedding harmful habits, and cultivating virtues like patience, sincerity, gratitude and mindfulness of Allah.

The Quran highlights:

“Successful indeed is the one who purifies their soul” [91:9]

True success as defined by Allah, is not measured by worldly achievements, but by the state of the heart. A heart that is sincere, humble, and devoted to Allah is the one that has truly succeeded.

Purifying the soul involves rising above the distractions of the world and focusing inward, striving to embody values that bring us closer to Allah.

Tazkiyah is a powerful expression of self-love and a sincere form of worship. Through purification, we honour the potential Allah has given us, striving to become the best versions of ourselves emotionally, spiritually and morally.

By purifying our hearts, we draw nearer to Allah while deepening our relationship with ourselves.

Tending to our inner state is both a divine responsibility and a personal affirmation of worth, choosing growth over stagnation, and purpose over heedlessness.

Empowerment Through Learning

Seeking knowledge is a vital expression of self-love in Islam. Whether religious or worldly, knowledge equips us with the insight and tools to navigate life with purpose and clarity.

It allows us to better understand ourselves, make wiser decisions, and engage with the world in a more meaningful way.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:

“Seeking knowledge is an obligation upon every Muslim.” (Sunan Ibn Majah).

By seeking knowledge, we honour the intellect Allah has granted us.

Self-love through knowledge means valuing and nurturing our minds. By continually learning, expanding our perspectives, and applying what we learn, we grow intellectually and spiritually.

Each new piece of knowledge is an opportunity to better ourselves, challenge our assumptions, and move toward a life that is more aligned with Allah's purpose for us.

In seeking knowledge, we show love for the person we are becoming and the person Allah intends for us to be.

In acquiring Islamic knowledge, we deepen our understanding of our beautiful deen. We come to know Allah, our Prophets, and the life of our beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and his Sunnah.

Through the pursuit of this knowledge, we not only earn the pleasure of Allah but also strengthen our connection to our true purpose. As we grow in understanding, we become more conscious of Allah, and through this heightened awareness (taqwa), we naturally evolve into better versions of ourselves.

The Path to Healing

Healing is an essential aspect of growth self-love in Islam. It involves acknowledging past wounds, learning from them, and allowing ourselves to grow stronger in the process.

Healing doesn't mean ignoring or suppressing pain; rather, it means confronting it with patience, wisdom, and the intention to improve. This journey requires emotional resilience and a commitment to self-improvement.

A key part of healing is forgiveness. The Quran teaches us:

“Let them pardon and forgive. Do you not love to be forgiven by Allah?” [24:22]

Forgiveness requires us to let go of past mistakes, grudges, and emotional scars, and embrace a mindset of self-compassion and mercy. By forgiving others, and ourselves, we create space for growth, peace, and stronger relationships.

This act of forgiveness is a powerful form of self-love, as it frees us from negativity and helps us move forward with a renewed heart.

Refining our character is another crucial step in the healing process. It involves consciously working to align our actions with our values, whether that means practicing kindness, controlling our temper, or building emotional resilience.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ emphasised:

“The best among you are those who have the best manners and character.” (Sahih al-Bukhari 6029)

When we focus on refining our character, we improve our relationships with others whilst strengthening our connection with Allah. As we strive to embody virtues like humility, patience, and sincerity, we begin to reflect the best version of ourselves, growing in a way that aligns with our true purpose.

Healing is about accepting our imperfections while actively working to better ourselves. Each day presents an opportunity to grow, heal, and become more aligned with the qualities that make us better people.

Balancing Self-Love with Humility

You may have noticed a brief mention of arrogance in the first blog post. As we delve into the concept of self-love, it’s important for us to know that loving ourselves must always be balanced with humility.

Self-love encourages us to acknowledge our worth and pursue personal growth. However, it's essential to ensure that this self-acknowledgment does not transform into arrogance.

True self-love isn’t about elevating ourselves above others; it’s about appreciating our value while maintaining an attitude of respect and equality for all.

In Islam, self-love involves recognising our inherent value as creations of Allah and striving to fulfil our potential in a way that aligns with His will. This journey includes refining our character, seeking knowledge, and embodying virtues such as patience, gratitude, and compassion.

It should never result in a sense of superiority over others.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ cautioned:

“No one will enter Paradise who has even a mustard-seed's weight of arrogance in his heart” (Sunan Ibn Majah 59)

This Hadith reminds us of the danger of arrogance. While we should recognise our value and pursue growth, we must do so with a spirit of respect for all of Allah’s creations.

Let this Hadith serve as a reminder that humility is the key to both personal growth and spiritual success.

True self-love is about embracing our worth, while always remembering that we are all equal in Allah's eyes, each on our own unique journey.

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